are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
