Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize