Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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