Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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