something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize