You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
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i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
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Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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