susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
