When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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