Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
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I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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