Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
