dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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