I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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