just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
