I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize