i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
