He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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