just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
only if we run a train.
done.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
