I bet he comes in French.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
True strength comes from lack of pants
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
