i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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