I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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