Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
