Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she looked like the before picture.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
