i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
