if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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