There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
