they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
