just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
