just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
