Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
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