The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This is my gift to your gina
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
