Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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