so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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