aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize