I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I will be naked everywhere
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
