We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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