That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
