dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
