THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
