I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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