It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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