Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
