end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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