Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
