Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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