At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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