; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You may now shotgun with the bride
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
