my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
