its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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