I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
