I wanna passion pit in your ass
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
