we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
