Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
