Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
