so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
