when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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