Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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