So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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