oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Your shirt... Was in my pants
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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