So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
