Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
