Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
