Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
