You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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